Less visibly, the event also showed the power of philanthropy. Hosting Ignatian Q is just one thing made possible by a fund that is creating new momentum around the University for initiatives that support lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer or questioning students, plus other sexual and gender minorities.

Founded last spring, the LGBTQ+ Student Wellbeing Fund is supporting everything from pastoral care to academic events and the development of classes reflecting LGBTQ+ themes—with the promise of more initiatives to come.

“I’m really encouraged and optimistic about the kind of response the fund has gotten, not only from LGBT members of the Fordham family but also straight members of our family who are deeply committed to issues of diversity, equity, and inclusion,” said Joan Garry, FCRH ’79, a former executive director of the LGBTQ+ advocacy group GLAAD and nationally recognized activist who serves on the Fordham University President’s Council executive committee.

Garry and her wife kick-started the fund last year by leading a Fordham Giving Day campaign for it and providing a $50,000 matching gift.

The need is plain, Garry said: The number of students who identify as other than heterosexual or cisgender is growing “off the charts.” These students “have all kind of struggles every day,” from self-acceptance to harassment to bullying, and suffer disproportionately from anxiety and depression, she said.

The fund is also needed because of a political climate that has become “downright terrifying,” she said, pointing to the Human Rights Campaign’s June 6 declaration of a “state of emergency” for LGBTQ+ people due to laws being enacted around the country.

By helping to foster a more inclusive campus community, the fund dovetails with a key priority of the University’s $350 million fundraising campaign, Cura Personalis | For Every Fordham Student.

Impact of the Wellbeing Fund

In addition to providing critical support to the Ignatian Q conference, the Wellbeing Fund has supported Campus Ministry programs including Queer Spirit Community and the Prism Retreat, as well as the publication of a Queer Prayer at Fordham booklet distributed at Ignatian Q, said Joan Cavanagh, Ph.D., senior director for spirituality and solidarity at Fordham.

The fund has also supported Center for Community Engaged Learning initiatives including scholarships that helped LGBTQ+ students take part in Fordham’s Global Outreach and Urban Plunge programs, a panel discussion on LGBTQ+ history, and grants for faculty. Co-sponsored by the Office of the Chief Diversity Officer, the grants support innovative classroom projects related to LGBTQ+ history and advocacy.

The Wellbeing Fund has “ignited an understanding that there is so much to do,” Garry said. “I am excited about the forward motion the fund is creating to educate, drive awareness, and galvanize support.”

Learn more about the uses of the LGBTQ+ Student Wellbeing Fund and make a gift.

Learn about Queer Spirit Community, the Prism Retreat, and other Campus Ministry resources for LGBTQ+ students.

See related story: Pope Francis Sends Warm Letter of Support for LGBTQ+ Conference at Fordham

The messages conveyed during keynote speeches, breakout sessions, a Mass, and other events made for a conference that was, in the words of one organizer, “amazing.”

“I don’t even know how to describe it. Everyone was crying. It was more than I could have ever hoped for,” said Ben Reilly, a senior at Fordham College at Rose Hill and chair of the Ignatian Q Planning Committee. “It seems to have breathed life into the conversation around LGBT life on campus and LGBT student community, and the importance of community both at Fordham and across our AJCU family.”

Speakers were unsparing in describing the obstacles to LGBTQ+ equality. The weekend began with a keynote at the Church of St. Paul the Apostle, next to the Lincoln Center campus, by Bryan Massingale, S.T.D., a gay Catholic priest and the James and Nancy Buckman Chair in Applied Christian Ethics at Fordham.

He spoke of the necessity of dreaming as a step toward creating a just society in which people no longer face intolerance and violence because of gender identity or gender expression.

“That dream is under attack—blatant attack, disturbing attack,” he said, citing laws against “life-saving, gender-affirming medical care” and discussion of LGBTQ topics in schools, among other things. “There are serious efforts underway,” he said, “to create a world in which we don’t exist.”

He decried the idea that “God does not love us and we are not worthy,” saying “we have to dream of a world and a church where that lie is put to rest.” During his address, he prompted everyone in the pews to turn to one another and give affirmations including “you are loved” and “you are sacred.”

Visibility, Understanding, Acceptance

Saturday’s keynote was delivered at the Rose Hill campus by Joan Garry, FCRH ’79, a nationally recognized LGBTQ activist and former executive director of the gay rights organization GLAAD.

“The LGBTQ movement for equality needs all of you—badly,” said Garry, who serves on the executive committee of the President’s Council at Fordham. She urged the students to be activists who foster greater inclusivity at their colleges and universities and provide a model for other LGBTQ students who may be struggling.

“Visibility drives understanding, and understanding drives acceptance,” she said. “When you are ‘out,’ you model authenticity and honesty, and you show people the way. We illustrate that one does not have to be controlled by the expectations of others, and do you know how big that is? That’s a superpower.”

The event was supported by Campus Ministry and the Office of Mission Integration and Ministry. Father Massingale celebrated Mass at the Lincoln Center campus on Sunday, and for some students, it was their first time attending Mass since coming out, Reilly said.

Also on Sunday, in a keynote at the Lincoln Center campus, James Martin, S.J., the prominent author and editor at large at America magazine, said the openness of more and more LGBTQ people in parishes and dioceses ensures that the Catholic Church will continue to become more open to them.

“As more and more people are coming out, more and more bishops have nieces and nephews who are openly gay. That just changes them,” he said. “And that’s not going to stop.”

Under the theme “Philanthropy | Empowerment | Change,” the morning’s keynote speaker, financial journalist and author Stacey Tisdale, MC ’88, spoke specifically about how priorities have been upended by workers during the pandemic, with women leading the charge for better work/life balance. Indeed, as the day progressed, panelists spoke of a balance struck by necessity, often on Zoom in the kitchen with the kids across the table.

“Women are heads of households, even though we’re certainly not treated that way,” said Tisdale, speaking to hundreds of virtual attendees. “Women participate in the provider side of the financial equation much more than they used to, but the belief that it is a man’s job to provide for his family and it is a woman’s job to take care of her family is still common.”

Tisdale noted women control over 60% of all the personal wealth in the U.S. and a majority of the personal wealth in the world. Yet, only 22% of women rate themselves as very well prepared for financial decision-making.

“There’s a confidence gap here we’re talking about,” she said. “Women were not always taught to be empowered in our financial decisions. I’m challenging you to go a little bit deeper. Where do you want things to change?”

She challenged viewers to examine self-perceptions.

“You are already perfect. If you don’t believe this, it is due to a flaw of your understanding,” she said. “Get rid of this understanding and you will become rich. Know that you’re born with the ability to accomplish things. The numbers stuff is the easy part.”

Fordham College at Lincoln Center junior Jayda Jones told attendees how scholarships
made her journey at the University possible.

Being Vulnerable and Promoting Empathy

In a panel following Tisdale’s talk titled “Compassionate and Collaborative Leadership in the Workplace,” Fordham Law adjunct professor Katherine Hughes, LAW ’08, GSAS ’08, said that having her kids doing schoolwork across the table while she met colleagues on Zoom changed her perception of leadership.

“I think that part of being a leader now is to show those pieces of myself and show my vulnerability,” she said, adding that wearing her heart on her sleeve has made her an empathetic leader.

“You forget that you’re dealing with people sometimes, one of the silver linings [of quarantine was that]I was forced to see people as people,” she said.

Eventually, however, the kitchen became far too small. She now works from her basement to create a perceived separation from home life with an up-the-stairs commute for dinner.

Christina Luconi, PAR, chief people officer at the cybersecurity firm RAPID7, concurred that creating personal space remains key for those working virtually. She breaks up her day with a long run to put herself in the “right headspace for the day.” Fellow panelist Peggy Smyth, FCRH ’85, said that she too needs long walks to as a break from being “a short-order cook” for her athlete sons and being the U.S. senior advisor on global infrastructure for QIC, the Australian investment firm.

Marjorie Cadogan, FCRH ’82, LAW ’85, said that while she agreed that creating space between work and life in the virtual workplace is important, she said virtual meetings have broken down a perceived wall. 

“One of the great things for me was to be able to see work as a part of life,” she said. “Work is a piece of a whole and you really do have to understand that you have to work with the whole [of life]to get the best of the piece.”

In the chat, she elaborated.

“You have to talk to people about their own relationships, hobbies, activities that are important to them and hopefully be able to share those important priorities,” she wrote. “The communication issue is a big one, because people communicate in different ways. Sometimes you just have to tell people what you need and what style of communication you respond to best to deliver your best work or response.”

Getting Real: Leadership Amidst Pain

In an afternoon panel titled “Compassionate and Collaborative Leadership in the Community,” Kimberly Hardy-Watson, FCRH ’84, president and CEO of Graham Windham, a nonprofit working with families in the city’s underserved communities, brought the brutal realities of the pandemic home.

“I have had to say goodbye to 52 people in this time frame and I’m not an anomaly. Whole communities were impacted by the loss and I’m still finding out who we lost,” she said, adding that the deaths have made everyone reframe priorities.

“I’m pleased at the pushback, [workers]are voting with their feet and saying that work life/harmony is important,” she said, noting that many workers are looking for new jobs in what was referred to as the Great Resignation.

Yet, Hardy-Watson admitted that even she was reticent to reveal everything she was going through during the pandemic. She contracted the virus herself, and with so many people depending on her, she coped with it in silence. Eventually, she stepped back and acknowledged what was going on.

“There’s a level of authenticity that has happened in this time that I haven’t seen in a while and there are huge opportunities in that,” she said.

Jane Abitanta, GABELLI ’85, ’86, concurred.

“I feel that the pandemic has cracked hearts open, she said, adding that communication had been more authentic and honest. “But not everyone feels ready to move forward. There’s that idea that we want to create normalcy and that’s not going to be easy for everyone to do—and I’m not even sure that’s a good idea.”

In her role as founder and CEO at the communications firm Perceval Associates, Abitanta recently spoke to a high-ranking real estate investor who said his firm was underwriting a financial plan that forecasts a pandemic every five years.

“We’re in a chronic crisis mode and have to get even more creative in virtual communication and in person, but not everyone is ready for that,” she said.

Naelys Luna, GSS ’01, ’05, founding dean of the College of Social Work and Criminal Justice at Florida Atlantic University, agreed that even leaders need to acknowledge that they’re experiencing trauma.

“[T]he process of becoming a leader is much the same as becoming integrated human beings; many times we spend a tremendous effort of putting out fires and when you put that together with the chronic stress [of the pandemic]—and certainly we all feel it—it puts you in a reactive mode and that alters the way you see things.”

Giving as Your Authentic Self

Joan Garry, FCRH ’79, former executive director of the gay rights organization GLAAD, who now runs her own nonprofit consulting firm, said that the authenticity one sees emerging in the workforce has permeated all sectors of the economy, including nonprofits and philanthropy. But it’s not a new concept, she said. It’s one she learned at Fordham.

“As our Jesuit values remind us, we are women for others,” she said. “So, take a look in the mirror, you’re staring at an activist.”

She noted that women make 90% of the philanthropic decisions for the nation’s families. Indeed, many of the attendees said they already belonged to one of Fordham’s Giving Circles, which allow donors to give regularly—starting at $100 a year—to any area of the University, from STEM funds, to a mission-focused fund called Living the Mission, to particular colleges or graduate schools.

Indeed, in her own family, she and her wife spearheaded a giving circle among her children and their cousins. The kids decided to give to a wildlife foundation. When the foundation sent a stuffed polar bear to the house as a thank you gift for giving, her son was furious. He wanted all the money they gave didn’t go to real animals.

She referred to the get-something-for-giving scenario as the “Girl Scout Cookie Syndrome.”

“It’s all about the thin mints,” she said. “Even the well-informed people who know about the great work of Girl Scouts develop some form of sugar amnesia.”

She equated the so-called cookie syndrome to inauthentic special events pegged to bold-named celebrities rather than the cause, leading some attendees to have no idea what they’re supporting. She pointedly excluded the Fordham Founder’s Dinner, which she said brings the mission of the evening to life.

“This pandemic has changed all of us in ways we do not yet understand,” she said. “We need to look at everything with intention to make sure our life has meaning and purpose.”

And that includes philanthropy, she said.

“We have to give with an understating of our privilege and with a sense of joy.”

“I think one of the reasons you’re here is to make the world a better place than the one you arrived to,” she said. “And philanthropy is an incredibly powerful tool for that. I want the women at the Women’s Summit to own that. I want them to see that. I want them to evangelize that.” (Update: Watch Garry’s address at the Summit.)

Making the World a Better Place

For Garry, the desire to make the world a better place stems, in part, from her personal life. In the early 1990s, two decades before the Supreme Court’s decision in Obergefell v. Hodges legalized same-sex marriage, she and her partner, Eileen, were discussing the next steps for their family.

“I believed really deeply that if we were going to have a family that it was incumbent upon us to do what we could to make the world as safe as possible for them,” she said.

They became plaintiffs in a precedent-setting case in New Jersey in 1993, and Garry eventually became the first woman in the state to legally adopt her partner’s biological children.

“It was a huge ‘aha moment’ for me, recognizing, cheesy though it may sound, that one person can really make a difference,” she said on an episode of the Fordham Footsteps podcast last summer. “And it was huge news,” she added. “The story of our family was educating people about members of the LGBT community in a very different kind of way. In the early 1990s, gay families were not common at all, and I realized that the media had this incredible power and responsibility to tell these stories and really shape how the LGBT community was perceived and understood.”

At the time, Garry was an executive at Showtime Networks, but her family’s victory in court inspired her to take her career in a different direction a few years later. In 1997, she was named executive director of GLAAD, a national nonprofit organization that aims to “rewrite the script for LGBTQ acceptance” and tackle “tough issues to shape the narrative and provoke dialogue that leads to cultural change.”

“Because GLAAD focused on the media as an institution where we could change hearts and minds, the bridge from corporate media to the nonprofit sector was a no-brainer for me,” Garry said.

Garry said that when she started at GLAAD, there were “precious few images at all” of LGBTQ people in the media, and when they were featured, the depictions were usually negative. She built partnerships with media executives to change that, working with the producers of Survivor to help get a gay man on the popular TV show in 2000 and successfully lobbying The New York Times to feature gay and lesbian couples in its “Vows” section.

“We are part of the fabric of society,” she said. “The object of the work was to ensure that the media representation reflected the diversity of our society that included LGBTQ members.”

Lessons Learned

Garry said her work at GLAAD was influenced by her previous jobs, particularly at MTV, where she began her career soon after graduating from Fordham College at Rose Hill with a degree in philosophy and communications.

At MTV, Garry learned the “dynamics, energy, and the urgency of a startup,” which became valuable to her as she transitioned to leading GLAAD.

“Running a nonprofit organization, they have a very similar energy [to a startup]—moving quickly, often too quickly, under-resourced,” she said. “The other piece that corporate America provided me was an understanding that numbers tell a story.”

And even before MTV, while still a student at Fordham, Garry said she learned about the value of having a mentor.

She got her start at MTV, several months before the network launched in 1981, thanks in part to her mentor James N. Loughran, S.J., FCRH ’64, GSAS ’75, a Fordham philosophy professor who later served as dean of Fordham College at Rose Hill. Father Loughran encouraged her to reach out to a Fordham graduate who was looking to build a team for a new project at Warner Communications.

“All I know is that one moment I was unemployed, and the next moment I was sharing an office with someone and looking at the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center, and feeling like I had won the lottery,” she said with a laugh. “Little did I know that we were creating the business plan for what would become MTV.”

The ‘Accidental’ Consultant

All of those lessons helped prepare Garry for another career transition—starting her own consulting firm for nonprofits.

After working at GLAAD for eight years, Garry decided to focus more on helping raise her three children, who were in middle and high school at the time.

“We believe that older kids need you even more than younger kids,” she said with a laugh. “And so I went home to be on the ground when they got home from school.”

She began to take on some jobs as a way to “maintain my sanity,” Garry said, adding that she became an “accidental” consultant. In 2012, she launched a website to share tips, advice, insights, and lessons she learned from her time in the corporate and nonprofit worlds. The site “took off,” she said, and eventually led to a full-time consulting business and a book, Joan Garry’s Guide to Nonprofit Leadership: Because the World Is Counting on You (Wiley, 2017).

Garry said that she found that many nonprofit leaders don’t have advocates and supporters for their work, which is why she also launched the Nonprofit Leadership Lab to help provide support, networking, and professional development to leaders of nonprofits.

“These jobs—whether you’re running a food pantry or whether you’re researching the cure for a disease or you’re advocating for the Latinx community—these are hard jobs,” she said. “They’re really hard to get right and far too often these leaders do not have champions.”

Inviting People In

Garry said that one of the pieces of advice she plans to give those who attend the Summit, and one she often shares with nonprofit leaders, is to invite people in to be a part of their causes and work.

“It makes people feel good to give money to causes they care about—it is an invitation, an invitation to get closer to those things that drive meaning and purpose in your life,” she said. “And why wouldn’t you invite people to do that? They can always say no. But I’d like to be invited. And so I have grown to understand through all of the work that I have done raising money, that it is  [about]  offering someone the opportunity to bring meaning and purpose into their lives in a different way.”

In particular, Garry said that she wants to invite women to use philanthropy to support the causes they care about.

“Women have not been socialized in the same way as men to be philanthropic; they have had fewer opportunities,” she said. “And I would like them to leave feeling inspired to be engaged in philanthropy in whatever way it makes sense for them.”

Watch the Fifth Annual Fordham Women’s Summit. Garry’s keynote address begins at 3:44:20.