Below are some tips, ideas, and time-honored traditions from members of the Fordham community to help make the holiday fun, restorative, and as stress-free as possible.

Gratitude for Family—‘the Greatest Blessing’

Thanksgiving brings with it the chance to reflect on our blessings, and chief among them is family, said Joseph M. McShane, S.J., president of Fordham.

“I find myself singing ‘We Gather Together’ often in the course of the day,” said Father McShane, referring to the traditional Thanksgiving hymn. “Moreover, as the ordained member of my family, I lead grace at our Thanksgiving dinner. Prior to offering the prayer, I ask my family to spend a few moments in silent prayer reviewing all of the graces and blessings that they have experienced in the course of the year (and in the course of their lives), with special emphasis on the people God has brought into our lives. We dwell in that moment and savor the rich memories we all have of those who used to be with us around the Thanksgiving table. Then we pray in a formal way and toast our parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, brothers, and sisters—the greatest blessing that God sent us.”

Friendsgiving Dinners

For those who find themselves without plans for a big Thanksgiving dinner, or for those who’d like to squeeze in an extra one and meet some new people in the process, Fordham student entrepreneurs have got you covered.

Gabelli School students Joseph Zoyhofski, Liam Scott, Alex TenBarge, and Emily Lehman founded a meal-sharing platform called the Provecho Project, after the Spanish phrase buen provecho which roughly translates to “enjoy your meal.”

The site works by allowing users to advertise a meal they’d like to make at home, and how much they plan to charge for it. Those interested can sign on, and the site charges a small processing fee on top of the price of the meal.

Last year, the group staged its first “Friendsgiving,” in which a provecho, or meal, was held every day for the week leading up to Thanksgiving. With a new website up and running, Zoyhofski said they’re excited to stage Friendsgiving again this year, from Nov. 21 to 27.

The meals have primarily attracted students, although they are open to all members of the Fordham community. To join a meal, visit their website.

A Holiday Classic: Julia Child’s Chocolate Mousse

When it comes to Thanksgiving dessert, most people expect a table full of pies. But one Fordham employee whips up something different each year: homemade chocolate mousse.

“My husband’s a real chocoholic, so I always have to have something chocolate for him for dessert,” said Patricia Wolff, a Fordham financial aid counselor. “I started making it 30 years ago, and it’s delicious.”

The recipe—originally created by acclaimed chef Julia Child—calls for a quarter cup of dark-brewed coffee. Wolff said she adds two shots of hot espresso, used to melt the chocolate.

Besides being delicious, the dessert is convenient.

“You make it the day before, so it just sits in the fridge,” Wolff said. “There’s always too much going on in the oven, so that’s another good reason to have this for Thanksgiving.”

Finding the Right Wine

For those looking for the perfect Thanksgiving wine, Gabriella Macari, GABELLI ’09, of Macari Vineyards in Mattituck on Long Island, reminds everyone that, “the first rule of wine pairings is that there are no rules.”

Still, she had a few pieces of advice for those looking for the perfect bottle.

“Traditional Thanksgiving pairings include wines that pair with turkey such as light-bodied reds; Pinot Noir, Cabernet Franc, and Gamay are great choices,” said Macari, a certified sommelier.

While many people continue to serve red with dessert, Macari recommends switching to a sparkling wine. Finding a wine with meaning can also make it taste that much sweeter.

“Holiday wines should be delicious and can be even better if they mean something to you,” Macari said. “For us, for example, opening an old vintage of one of our wines to share with friends and family is very meaningful and evokes strong emotion.”

Macari also encouraged people to shop local wines for the American holiday.

“American wines are now better than ever,” she said.

Prioritizing Wellness

When everyone’s done with dinner, dessert, and libations, the living room couch beckons. But some families are looking for more ways to stay active and burn a few of those extra calories.

“Consider a Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving morning,” Jeanne Molloy, wellness manager at Fordham, said. “These 5Ks have grown in popularity and can be walked in 45 to 60 minutes if you haven’t trained to run it. That morning outing will help boost your metabolism all day.”

A post-walk dinner with the dogs can also be a way to stretch the legs and make your pets happy, Molloy said.

Sarah Bickford, the administrator of fitness and recreation at the Ram Fit Center, said physical activity can have the added benefit of helping to ward off any holiday blues.

“The holidays can also be a stressful time for people,” she said. “Exercise or group activities can be a great way to help people relax, come together, and feel better.”

Handling Stress

For some, stress will be inevitable. Jeffrey Ng, Psy.D., director of counseling and psychological services (CPS) at Fordham, offered advice on coping with challenging situations.

One of the more common concerns reported by students is balancing family time, self-care, and schoolwork over the holidays—especially right before final exams and project deadlines, said Ng. He advised students to proactively plan their time and identify their needs before break arrives, and to try to be transparent with family and friends about what’s on their plate.

Another common issue is interacting with family members or friends who have differing social or political beliefs, said Ng.

“The college years are a time of heightened identity formation and change, and a student’s emerging beliefs and perspectives may be diverging from their family of origin’s values and perspectives,” said Ng. “While it can be meaningful and growthful to figure out how to navigate potential tensions with family members, it’s also okay to opt out of some interactions or conversations that may feel particularly activating or overwhelming.”

For those who might be alone on Thanksgiving, try to find local opportunities to engage in community service and connect with friends, Ng said. And, he added, be careful with social media usage—too much scrolling may exacerbate feelings of social comparison, FOMO, and loneliness.

“The mind gravitates toward negative experiences and events so we need to intentionally practice gratitude,” Ng said. “The more we practice gratitude outside the context of holidays like Thanksgiving, the more we’ll be able to do so under more challenging circumstances.”

Books that Conjure Gratitude

With plenty of holiday time off and the cold winter months looming, Thanksgiving represents a good time to start plotting wintertime reading. Fred Nachbaur, director of Fordham University Press, said he’s grateful for a couple of recent reads.

Say Nothing: A True Story of Murder and Memory in Northern Ireland by Patrick Radden Keefe (Knopf Doubleday, 2019) is a reminder of darker times in Northern Ireland.

To be honest, I didn’t really know much about the IRA and their covert operations or those of the British government,” said Nachbaur.

The book begins with the abduction of a widowed mother of 10 living in public housing and goes on to give a detailed history of the “Troubles” and the cast of characters involved.

“It reads like a crime story—totally compelling and mind-blowing; I learned a lot,” he said. “We often forget about the more tumultuous times that make you appreciate the relative peace we enjoy here.”

Closer to home, Nachbaur said he is very grateful for Susan Greenfield’s oral history, Sacred Shelter: Thirteen Journeys of Homelessness and Healing (Fordham University Press, 2019). He noted that all of the contributors helped put life into perspective.

Nachbaur feels thankful for one essay in particular, titled “Reflection: Hope,” written by a social worker who worked with a group of formerly incarcerated individuals.

“The author opens up about her difficulty with being adopted and experiencing a deep sense of loss and not fitting in,” he said. She found healing in working through the anger that group members shared stemming from adoption and feeling abandoned by their parents.

“My daughter is adopted and this piece really helped me better understand her challenges,” said Nachbaur. “I am very grateful to the author,” he said.

Giving Beyond the Season of Giving

Every year around the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays there’s an uptick in volunteering. But how can these seasonal volunteers carry the do-good spirit to the rest of the year?

Arto Woodley, Ed.D., executive director for the Center for Community Engaged Learning, said one way to connect with others is to connect with yourself first.

“First ask yourself, what is your passion in reference to engaging in communities, and why is it important to you?” said Woodley. Also, volunteers should consider whether they are looking for a one-time event or sustained involvement, he said.

And rather than reach out to organizations and ask when they need volunteers, Woodley suggests an “asset-based approach” that will help volunteers align their strengths with an organization’s strengths year-round. He suggests that “needs-based” volunteering will inevitably lead to “volunteer fatigue,” because there will always be a new need.

“This requires a paradigm shift from volunteering to engagement and building deeper relationships with organizations and community partners,” he said. “I definitely prefer the model where the organization and the volunteer build something constructive together.”

— Reporting by Taylor Ha, Kelly Kultys, Tom Stoelker, and Patrick Verel

The fair, which was also held at the Westchester on Dec. 5 and will take place at the Lincoln Center campus on Dec. 12, featured free massages, reflexology, aromatherapy, meditation, ergonomic demonstrations, DASH Diet information, yoga and tips on destressing at your desk.

Jeanne Molloy, wellness manager in the office of human resources management, said the fairs were a way to help faculty, staff and administration relieve stress, and as teach them techniques for relieving stress going forward.

“This was a culmination of what I’ve been hearing from people while I’ve been on campus, so we put it all together under one roof,” she said.

“It was really important to say thank you to everybody who works so hard here at Fordham for our students.”

George Evans, director of technical operations at WFUV, figured it had been four years since his last massage, which he took in along with aromatherapy.

“A lot of my peers are feeling overworked, and there’s so much stress to get things done. And then you have the holidays on top of that,” he said.

“This just took about 20 percent off the top though. I’m feeling really good right now.”

Amber Crow, resident director in the office of residential life, came for a massage, but took advantage of both foot and hand reflexology as well. The week had been particularly stressful, so it was an especially welcome break, she said.

“The massage was probably the most amazing thing I’ve ever done. I never relax, but I feel like I was able to go somewhere and really reflect on all of the good things that I have in my life,” she said.

“It’s physical, but it’s also a mental break, which was really nice on Friday. The massage therapist was like, ‘For the rest of the day, be in ‘Amber land,’ and concentrate on yourself.’”

Steve Buckley, manager of the IT department’s call center, came to the fair to learn more about the DASH diet, and to also get ideas for how to get his teenage son to eat better. He also spoke at length with an ergonomics expert.

“I do a lot of sitting at work, and I’m tall, so I just wanted to find out ways I can improve my posture, to see if there are any benefits to different types of furniture,” he said.

Michelle Tomlinson, a financial analyst, took advantage of massage and reflexology, as well as the, “Buddha Booth,” a pod-like structure where a person can retreat for three minute intervals of quiet, guided meditation. She said this time of year is always stressful, because in addition to the normal holiday stress, she’s also responsible for an audit.

“I had the opportunity to just relax for a few minutes, focus on my breathing,” she said.

“It is a little weird to go back to work, but I do have some more clarity after the Buddha booth, so I’m sure the next project that I have to finish will be even better.”

The Lincoln Center wellness fair will take place from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. tomorrow at Fordham Law School, room 2-01B. To schedule a massage, visit https://pickatime.com/fordhamUwellness

Wellness Manager in the Office of Human Resources Management

WHAT SHE DOES

“My role as the wellness manager is to promote the health and well-being of Fordham’s faculty, staff, and administration.”

TURNING PASSION INTO A CAREER

“My first career was in commercial real estate in Manhattan. I always took classes in nutrition while working in real estate because it was my passion and then after I had my first daughter, I switched to dietetics full time.”

Before joining Fordham’s Office of Human Resources Management, she worked for Sodexo, a worldwide leader in quality-of-life services.

“I was the registered dietitian for Fordham students. If anybody had special dietary needs, I would meet with them so that their needs would be met within the community, as opposed to getting off of the meal plan and potentially eating alone. From there, I became a wellness director for the business and industry division of Sodexo, where I helped our client partners achieve their wellness initiatives.”

SHARING INFORMATION

“Because we’re spread out on three campuses, the monthly well-being newsletter is one way to let faculty and staff know that I’m here, and impart a little information along the way. This fall, we have had a massage therapist visit campus during the benefits fairs and organized flu shots at all three campuses. In November, I worked with organizations on campus to participate in a Great American Smokeout program. For Diabetes Awareness Month, I set up a table at the Westchester campus and handed out information and samples of Jicama, which is a low glycemic food. My ultimate goal is to create a culture of health and well-being at Fordham University.”

DIMENSIONS OF WELLNESS

“The National Wellness Institute has a six dimensional model of wellness: Social, Emotional, Occupational, Physical, Intellectual, and Spiritual.  The Physical dimension includes the benefits of regular physical activity, healthy eating habits, strength and vitality. I’m starting to build education and activity through the physical dimension first.”

STAYING FIT

She said that a majority of staff members want to learn how to incorporate exercise into their day.

“Some people want to exercise close to work and others want it close to home. I try to educate staff about the resources we already have and try to create new opportunities to help them achieve their wellness goals. So far, we have created partnerships with the White Plains YMCA and West Side YMCA for discounted membership.”

TAKING A BREAK

“So many people don’t break from their desks to eat their meals. It’s important to try and break away from that environment and clear your head a little bit. Walking outside and connecting to the earth can be very therapeutic.”

HOW SHE MAINTAINS A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE

“As a registered dietitian, I try to follow a plant-based diet. I like to experiment with different ingredients and come up with nourishing and appetizing dishes. I love to take advantage of this beautiful campus of Rose Hill and the New York Botanical Gardens. I also like to exercise my muscles for 30 minutes at the Ram Fit Center during my lunch hour.”

A FRESH START

“The New Year is a great time for a fresh start and that may include making personal wellness resolutions. Be mindful to set yourself up for success by making small changes towards your wellness goal until it becomes part of your daily routine. Don’t forget to be kind to yourself. Forgive any setbacks and get yourself back on track toward your goal. Being able to bounce back and be tenacious is a key skill for having a rich life. Once you’ve attained that goal, reward yourself. It could be the gift of time to read a book by your favorite author or shopping the sale rack at your favorite store.”