These are the questions that Imelda Lam, Ph.D., GRE ’15, faces every day.

Lam is a curriculum developer in the Catholic Diocese of Hong Kong’s Religious and Moral Education Curriculum Development Centre, a group that produces teaching and learning content for religious schools and provides professional training for religion teachers. In 2006, she began writing religious education textbooks for Catholic schools across Hong Kong. Lam and her colleagues create content for both teachers and students, including instruction guides, lesson plans, PowerPoints, audio files, and videos. So far, they’ve developed textbooks for children ages 4 to 15, and they’re currently working on books for older teens.

Their textbooks touch on topics like love, ethics, temptation, and moral decision-making. Lam’s team selects the stories, activities, and biblical references that make it to publication—and it’s no easy feat. Lam says, for example, she has struggled with choosing the right words to talk about premarital sex, which Catholic teaching says shouldn’t happen.

“But why? How do you guide them [students]to think about that?” she said.

Lam, a Hong Kong native, began working at the Religious and Moral Education Curriculum Development Centre in 2006. That same year, the Catholic Diocese of Hong Kong released its first centralized curriculum for Catholic schools. It became the guiding point of the material that Lam and her colleagues use in their religious education textbooks.

After a few years, her life changed. Lam, who had previously been a primary school teacher for more than a decade, wanted to become an educator for religion teachers. She also realized that if she wanted to create the highest quality teaching aids for educators and their students, then she needed to strengthen her skills and continue her own education.

In 2011, Lam enrolled in the religious education Ph.D. program at Fordham’s Graduate School of Religion and Religious Education. She says the most useful thing she learned at Fordham was a deeper style of teaching. In Hong Kong, many religion teachers educate their students by reading stories from the Bible, singing songs, praying, and creating arts and crafts. But Fordham taught her that this is not enough.

“To teach religious education is to have them have a bigger mind,” Lam said. “To understand the meaning of life, and to think about Christian values.”

Their current curriculum is no longer limited to activities like storytelling and singing. Lam says religion school teachers are now more focused on providing reflective activities, like encouraging students to share their own experiences and the lessons they learned. Then they, in turn, can model this behavior when teaching their young students.

Let’s say a teacher is talking about the concept of forgiveness, Lam said. She might have them reflect on when they’ve been angry with someone, and vice versa. Did they forgive them? Have they been forgiven by someone? How did they feel? They can bring this reflection back to their work in the classroom.

“Children learn by experience,” said Lam, who is also a part-time lecturer in teacher training at the Caritas Institute of Higher Education, a post-secondary college in Hong Kong. “Learning through their own experiences and other’s experiences leads them to think bigger, and think more about life and values.”

Nearly half of Hong Kong’s Catholic schools—150 out of 270—have adopted the local  Catholic Diocese’s curriculum, Lam estimated. Most of the students in these Catholic schools are not Catholic. But everyone can learn something from a Catholic education, just like at Fordham, she said. In other words, a Catholic style of teaching can help the younger generation become thoughtful citizens and make wiser decisions in their lives.

“When you are growing up, you need to make decisions every day, every minute—to choose what to do, to choose a boyfriend, to make a family,” she explained. “Why don’t we teach the young guys [students]to know how to choose?”

“We don’t force them to accept Christian values,” she emphasized. “But at least they have the chance to know them: how to reflect on being a better person, how to have a bigger dream, how to have a meaningful life.”

FORDHAM magazine checked in with some alumni of the University’s Graduate School of Education—professionals who work with students ranging in age from preschool to high school—to ask them for some guidance. Here’s what they had to say.

Be involved. In order to help your child thrive in the classroom, it’s important to be involved from the get-go. Angela Kang, Ph.D., GSE ’09, runs the mental health clinic at P.S. 8 in the Bronx—part of Montefiore’s School Health Program. Clinic staff evaluate students and see them for behavioral issues, mood disorders, and other concerns.

“We do a lot of family work. The parents have to be involved,” she says. “The more information a parent can give me, even anecdotally, that’s really helpful in terms of formulating what’s going on.” Kang likes to see prior report cards and any other evaluations a child may have received.

Talking to your child, Kang says, is crucial. “Sometimes parents assume that a child will tell them when something is wrong,” but this is not always the case. “And things that go undetected for a while show up as other problematic behaviors.”

Develop trust in your school. A critical component of parental involvement, says Shirly Ulfan, GSE ’14, is getting to know and appreciate the learning environment at your child’s school. Ulfan is the founder of Aleph Bet Academy, a small preschool in Briarwood, Queens, that opened last year.

“It’s always astonishing to me how different parents are in their concerns,” she says. “Some parents want to be sure their child is really clean all the time. Some are obsessed with what their child eats.” Parents, especially those with little ones, need to know that everything will not be “the way it is at your house.”

“I always tell parents that everything that happens in our school happens with forethought.” While she welcomes parents’ involvement, she says it’s crucial that they “begin with the basic idea that I trust the teacher and the school, and that whatever comes up will be handled correctly.”

This applies to discipline as well. “Every parent should ask ahead of time how a school deals with conflict and discipline,” says Ulfan, and be sure that they are comfortable with the school’s approach.

Be collaborative. Parents and teachers share the same goal—you both want what’s best for your child. Approaching discussions in a collaborative fashion will likely yield the best results for everyone.

Noelle Beale, Ph.D., FCRH ’97, GSE ’12, is regional superintendent for Catholic Schools of Central Westchester, responsible for 25 schools. She’s also served as a principal and a classroom teacher. “It’s important for the parent to go into the conversation as a partner, and to really work with the teacher on strengths and weaknesses.”

Collaboration should also involve the student, says Beale, who is an adjunct professor at the Graduate School of Education. When schedules permit, she suggests having the student present with the teacher during discussions, to “really walk through what the challenges were.” Or, if the situation is more serious, such as a significant behavioral issue or possible academic failure, parents and teachers can talk alone “to come with strategies ahead of time,” she says, “then sit down with the student and talk about expectations.”

Madison Payton, GSE ’13, teaches English at the Eagle Academy for Young Men II in Brownsville, Brooklyn, where he founded a writing center. He says in order for collaboration to happen comfortably, parents should take the time to “understand who we are as educators.”

As a writing teacher, he puts less of an emphasis on grades than some teachers do. This can be confusing to parents of his students, many of whom are Caribbean and come from a more rigid education system. They’ll say, “How did this essay change three times?” But for him, the revision process is more important. He says he tells students, “This is your place to make lots of mistakes. You can do that here because I love you.” So it’s key, he says, that parents ask teachers about their teaching philosophy in the beginning of the year.

Be realistic. What parent doesn’t think their child is brilliant? But Beale cautions that your child may not have all the strengths you want them to have. “As a parent myself, I really try to go in realistically and say, ‘My child may have challenges. How can I best support them at home, and what can I do to best support the teacher?’”

By the same token, she says, teachers are not perfect either. “Education is changing. Look at the Common Core. Teachers themselves are evolving with their knowledge, because there are new things that they’re teaching.”

In his school in a tough Brooklyn neighborhood, Payton sees parents—often single moms—comparing their kids to themselves at that age. They might say, “Well, I had less, and I was able to do it.” But times have changed, he says, and every child develops differently. “Remove yourself from the equation and try to figure out why the child is making certain decisions.”

Trust your instincts. As much as it’s critical to develop trust in your child’s school and teachers, Ulfan says, it’s also important to remember that you know your child better than anyone else in the world.

“Parents have very strong instincts,” she says. “Often professionals will fail a child in a way where a parent would not.” Ulfan works with parents who are learning their children have special needs, and says it will be critical that they fight to receive all the evaluations and services their child requires. “If you have concerns and they’re not going away—in whatever setting—you really have to fight. Stomp your foot on the floor and pound your fist on the table and be the loudest, squeakiest wheel you can be.”

Among these participants are more than 80 members of a U.S. delegation led by Fordham’s Gerald Cattaro, EdD, executive director for the Center for Catholic School Leadership and Faith-Based Education within the Graduate School of Education (GSE).

The celebration also commemorates the 25th anniversary of Ex Corde Ecclesia, Pope John Paul II’s apostolic constitution on Catholic colleges and universities.

“I am pleased to learn that the [Congregation for Catholic Education] wishes to constitute on this occasion a foundation entitled Gravissimum Educationis, with the aim of pursuing ‘scientific and cultural ends, intended to promote Catholic education in the world,’” Pope Francis wrote in a chirograph issued Oct. 28, the anniversary of Gravissimum Educationis.

“The Church recognizes the ‘extreme importance of education in the life of man and how its influence ever grows in the social progress of this age.”

Convened by the Congregation for Catholic Education, the Congress is meant to revitalize the church’s commitment to Catholic education. The Congress will explore the future of Catholic schools and universities, focusing especially on issues that relate to identity, mission, communities, and challenges ahead.

The U.S. delegation led by Cattaro comprises Catholic school leaders from across the country, including superintendents and directors of education from dioceses and archdioceses and professors, deans, and administrators from Catholic colleges and universities.

Fordham’s other participants are Virginia Roach, EdD, dean of GSE, and Anita Batisti, PhD, associate dean and director of the Center for Educational Partnerships.

The Congress concludes on Nov. 21 with an audience with Pope Francis at Castel Gandolfo.